A recent bit of customer-service correspondence

FROM: Customer (Ken Pierce)
TO: Motorola Customer Service
D/T: 03/28/2009 05:51 PM

Just purchased a Motorola Renew for my daughter, who chose it because of the MP3 capability. Then it didn't work when we plugged it into the computer, and I went to find the driver...but am informed by tMobile that the driver is not included with the telephone and that I have to purchase it from you, at a cost of five times what I paid for the phone. I am hoping that tMobile is simply misinformed. Could you please tell me where I can download a simple driver for the Motorola Renew that will allow my daughter to download mp3's onto her phone? Thanks.

Yours,

Ken Pierce

FROM: Valeria at Motorola Customer Service
TO: Ken Pierce
D/T: 03/30/2009 04:19 PM

Dear Ken,

Thanks for reaching out to Motorola. I’ve reviewed your e-mail and I’m ready to help.

Regarding your concern, we are glad to inform you that in order to transfer media files from your phone to your PC, synchronize your phonebook and calendar, and use your phone as a modem, you would need to purchase the Motorola Phone Tools 5.0. This kit is available for purchase on line at the link below:

http://www.store.motorola.com/mot/en/US/adirect/motorola?cmd=catProductDetail&showAddButton=true&productID=89218N

Note: Some downloadable features are restricted depending on the service provider of the phone, for this reason, we would recommend you to contact your service provider before you purchase the software.

If you are a Verizon customer, all multimedia and Internet connection features in this software will be disabled due to carrier request. Please contact your service provider for further information.

System Requirements:
Windows® 2000, XP, or Vista.
Pentium® II 233 MHz computer
64MB of RAM under Windows® 2000 and XP, 128MB of RAM under Vista
Local hard drive with 120 MB free space
A USB cable or Bluetooth on your PC if you wish to connect wirelessly
Motorola Mobile phone compatible with Motorola Phone Tools
Internet Explorer 6.0 or Later

Network, subscription and SIM card or service provider feature. Some features may be disabled by your wireless service provider. Certain features are dependent on the capabilities and settings of your service provider´s network. Additionally, certain features may not be activated by your service provider, and/or the provider's network settings may limit the feature´s functionality.
Always contact your service provider about feature availability and functionality.

We hope that you find this information useful and look forward to assisting you in the future.

For information about Motorola products and services, please visit us at http://www.hellomoto.com

Thank you for contacting Motorola e-mail support.

Best Regards,

FROM: Ken Pierce
TO: Motorola Customer Support
D/T: 03/30/2009 11:32 PM

Never mind, I took the Motorola phone back and exchanged it for a Nokia phone that cost $10 more but came with all necessary drivers free. +$10 - $50 = guess who came out ahead? Interesting concept, that, selling a phone all of whose advertised features work as advertised when you buy the phone. You might consider trying something along those lines your own selves. On a related note, have you looked at the 5-year chart of MOT recently?

Idiots.

Yours respectfully,

KP

Seriously Misleading Headline of the Day

This story is admittedly not safe for children, but it's a whole lot less unsafe-for-children than I thought it was when I first read the headline.

My hero of the day. Really.

As Dave puts it, if he recovers, I want this guy to be my doctor.

And while we're at it, here's a yee-haw to go with the yeah bay-bee

'Cause this is pretty durn cool, too.

HT: Dave

Thank God Obama is going to take over and save us all...

...because if we didn't have the all-wise, all-noble politicians and bureaucrats to run health care for us, really bad things might happen.

Yeah, bay-bee!

I'll never do this stuff now -- my window of opportunity passed a long time ago -- but there's always vicarious living.

Demotivational poster of the day

From the indispensable despair.com, which of course actually sells its posters and calendars and so forth, we have a new take on Adversity:

"That which does not kill me postpones the inevitable."

Nice poster, suitable for framing. I'd encourage you to go peruse all their posters and get yourself a calendar or something.

Not a bad take on Cluelessness, either: "There are no stupid questions, but there are a LOT of inquisitive idiots."

And I'd tell you the tag line on Effort, except that for this one you really have to see the picture. Go ahead and go take a gander; I'll wait...[snorking] Welcome back. That was a good one, eh?

I won't steal their thunder on the rest of their posters, which are hit-and-miss but with a very high hit/miss ratio, because you should go look at them for yourself. Don't miss, for example, Conformity, Consistency, Consulting, Customer Care...obviously I just took the C's at random and found many delights. I do have to say, however, that I'm no big fan of their take on Blogging: "Never before have so many people with so little to say said so much to so few." Hey!

Speaking of Dr. Chopp and March Madness...

...the frightening thing about this story is that it makes perfect sense. [Smacks self on the forehead for not having thought of it in time.]

By the way, Dave Commenter "Horace LaBadie" enriches the story with the following factoid: "Letterman featured an ad for the Springfield Urology clinic on Small Town News. They were offering this promotion, plus Free Pizza."

But that's not enough for Horace to be crowned the Dave Commenter of the Day. That would be "CJrun," who reminds us that "there is a vas deferens between sex and pregnancy."

HT: Dave, which is obviously why I'm quoting his commenters.

UPDATE: The newly indispensable Criggo has the actual ad referred to by Horace.

Name of the Year, 2009

As much as I like college basketball, that's not the March Madness that really matters to me. What really matters to me is this tournament right here.

All 64 members in the field are eminently deserving. Still, There Can Only Be One (to steal an old NBA marketing slogan). So, to my own picks.

In my bracket, despite the obvious virtues of Nutritious Love, Marrell Ya'Hynis Wilson, Velvet Milkman, Uranus Golden, the Rev. Valentine Handwerker, Hung The Dang, and (a personal favorite here) Virginia Woo-Raspberry...despite all these fine contenders, I have Moonlit Wang triumphing over Chastity Clapp in triple overtime to claim the title.

But I have to admit, I'm not sure anybody wants to stand in front of the Dick Titball train. (Seriously, folks, your last name is Titball and you name your son...Richard???? But then again, a highly personal surgical procedure was once performed upon yours truly by Dr. Richard Chopp. So I guess Ma and Pa Titball are in good company.)

Apologies

Haven't been updating the blog much, obviously. Things got kind of shook up at work and I switched over to help out a different area that was having problems, with a resulting drastic drop in spare time. Shouldn't be as bad from here forward, but it'll still be a while before I can blog in the evenings as enthusiastically as I was for a while there.

Stay tuned for a chance to fill in your brackets in the real March Madness, however.

Two good videos

There's this poor girl who just can't park a car, here.

And then there's this kid who has been told to wash the supermarket windows, but hasn't been told that it's possible to temporarily turn off the automatic sliding doors (found this one on failblog, but do be warned that not everything found on failblog is nice):