Name of the Year, 2009

As much as I like college basketball, that's not the March Madness that really matters to me. What really matters to me is this tournament right here.

All 64 members in the field are eminently deserving. Still, There Can Only Be One (to steal an old NBA marketing slogan). So, to my own picks.

In my bracket, despite the obvious virtues of Nutritious Love, Marrell Ya'Hynis Wilson, Velvet Milkman, Uranus Golden, the Rev. Valentine Handwerker, Hung The Dang, and (a personal favorite here) Virginia Woo-Raspberry...despite all these fine contenders, I have Moonlit Wang triumphing over Chastity Clapp in triple overtime to claim the title.

But I have to admit, I'm not sure anybody wants to stand in front of the Dick Titball train. (Seriously, folks, your last name is Titball and you name your son...Richard???? But then again, a highly personal surgical procedure was once performed upon yours truly by Dr. Richard Chopp. So I guess Ma and Pa Titball are in good company.)