Sunday, January 18, 2009

When is it easy to say, "Here comes a 65-yard touchdown" the moment the ball is snapped?

When the richly-deserving-of-unemployment jackass of a defensive coordinator calls a blitz package that involves seven -- count 'em, seven! -- people rushing the quarterback with four DB's left to cover the 4,000 square yards of field between the line of scrimmage and the back of the end zone. (Not on YouTube yet but then Ravens defensive coordinator Rex Ryan only pulled this masterstroke of genius four or five minutes ago.)

Yes, 1,000 square yards of coverage responsibility per defensive back.

And now you are behind by seven more points than you were twenty seconds ago.

I'm totally serious, I saw that blitz coming and said out loud, "Surely this is a feint and you're backing out???" and then the ball was snapped and sure enough everybody headed for the quarterback and I muttered with a grim shake of the head, "Well, that's a touchdown a-comin'." I swear if I were a head coach and my defensive coordinator suggested that we install a seven-man-rush package I'd tell him, "Suggest that once more and I will seriously reconsider your employment on my staff." News flash to Rex: when your daddy was first running the 46 defense and rushing five to eight guys on practically every play, it was a New Thing and offenses hadn't had time to figure it out. But that was TWENTY YEARS AGO, you head-case. Oddly enough, twenty years is enough time for offensive coordinators to figure out how to run circles around a fundamentally flawed defensive scheme that succeeds only when opposing offenses have a quarterback who knows less than a decent 5-A Texas high school quarterback now knows about quick-strike timing patterns to the huge open spaces left by big blitzes. It DOESN'T WORK ANYMORE, you moron -- which is a big reason that your daddy raises race horses now instead of coaching NFL defenses.

This concludes today's sports rant.


At 3:54 PM, Blogger Stephen said...

And now Rex Ryan is the head coach of the NY Jets. He just wanted to be able to get to work a couple of weeks earlier than he would have otherwise!

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