Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Juan Diego, Watch Your Back Dept

Faith (this morning's barista at Java Dave's) is not the morning talk-television fan that Veronica is, thank God. So we're listening to some pop station's morning show instead of to the emotional self-abuse (in the Catholic sense) of Diane Sawyer, who yesterday ran a big piece that was about absolutely nothing except shamelessly, all-but-breathlessly narcissistic self-adulation, and included in her Lessons Learned From The Year In Which I Single-Handedly (With A Small Assist From Sam Donaldson) Altered The Landscape Of News Television Forever, the following gem:

"Lesson #3: Don't think about yourself; instead, think about what you can do for other people."

After which she went right back to talking about how fantastically fabulicious she was. Hi-freakin'-larious stuff. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the Rigorously Self-Aware American Intellectual Elite.

But that's not the story I set out to tell, actually, just a story I suddenly remembered I had forgotten to tell. What I meant to tell you was about a news tidbit that momentarily caught my attention. I give you the following dialog between myself and the entertainment-gossip chick on the radio morning show:

ENTERTAINMENT-GOSSIP CHICK: New Kids on the Block are hittin' the high C's....

PERIL: Bullspit; I mean, as least pick a boy-band with some actual vocal talent if you're gonna try to sell me on that one...

ENTERTAINMENT-GOSSIP CHICK: ...They announced yesterday that they have signed a deal with Princess Cruise Lines...

PERIL: Oh. [à la Rosanne Rosannadanna] Never mind.


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