Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Things I Learned During Ike Dept

Jennifer White forwards this on to me, with appropriate credit to her friend Sharon:

Hurricane Education: What I've learned during our last hurricane...

  • Coffee and frozen pizzas can be made on a BBQ grill.

  • No matter how many times you flick the switch, lights don't work without electricity.

  • My car gets 23.21675 miles per gallon, EXACTLY (you can ask the people in line who helped me push it).

  • Kids can survive 4 days or longer without a video game controller in their hands.

  • Cats are even more irritating without power!!!!!!!!!!!! [Editorial comment: stricken as obviously false; it is not possible for cats to become more irritating than they already are.]

  • He who has the biggest generator, wins.

  • Women can actually survive without doing their hair- you just wish they weren't around you. ;-)

  • A new method of non-lethal torture - showers without hot water.

  • There are a lot more stars in the sky than most people thought.

  • TV is an addiction and the withdrawal symptoms are painful.

  • A 7 lb bag of ice will chill 6-12 oz Budweisers to a drinkable temperature in 11 minutes, and still keep a 14 lb. turkey frozen for 8 more hours. [Editorial comment: partially stricken as obviously false; there is no temperature at which Budweiser is drinkable.]

  • There are a lot of dang trees around here.

  • Flood plain drawings on some mortgage documents were seriously wrong.

  • Aluminum siding, while aesthetically pleasing [Editorial comment: ????????!], is definitely not required.

  • Crickets can increase their volume to overcome the sound of 14 generators.

  • People will get into a line that has already formed without having any idea what the line is for.

  • When required, a Lincoln Continental will float -- doesn't steer well but floats all the same.

  • Telemarketers function no matter what the weather is doing.

  • Cell phones work when land lines are down, but only as long as the battery remains charged.

  • 27 of your neighbors are fed from a different transformer than you, and they are quick to point that out!

  • Hampers were not made to contain such a volume.

  • If my store sold only ice, chainsaws, gas and generators... I'd be rich. [Editorial comment: that is, until the trial lawyers showed up with their price-gouging lawsuits.]

  • The price of a can of soup rises 200% in times of storm and flood. [Editorial comment: that's because it's a floating price. (This appalling pun brought to you by the Committee of Persons Wishing To Elicit Groans from Jennifer.)]

  • Your waterfront property can quickly become someone else's fishing hole.

  • Tree service companies are under-appreciated.

  • Having previously made fun of another state's blackout: karma is a bitch.

  • ECON 101: 30 days in month, minus 6 days without power equals 30% higher electric bill?????

  • Drywall is a compound word, take away the "dry" part and it's

  • I can walk a lot farther than I thought.


At 1:18 PM, Blogger Earl said...

You are correct horse urine never can be a drinkable product.

At 1:26 PM, Blogger Ken Pierce said...




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