Things I Learned During Ike Dept

Jennifer White forwards this on to me, with appropriate credit to her friend Sharon:

Hurricane Education: What I've learned during our last hurricane...

• Coffee and frozen pizzas can be made on a BBQ grill.


• No matter how many times you flick the switch, lights don't work without electricity.


• My car gets 23.21675 miles per gallon, EXACTLY (you can ask the people in line who helped me push it).


• Kids can survive 4 days or longer without a video game controller in their hands.


• Cats are even more irritating without power!!!!!!!!!!!! [Editorial comment: stricken as obviously false; it is not possible for cats to become more irritating than they already are.]


• He who has the biggest generator, wins.


• Women can actually survive without doing their hair- you just wish they weren't around you. ;-)


• A new method of non-lethal torture - showers without hot water.


• There are a lot more stars in the sky than most people thought.


• TV is an addiction and the withdrawal symptoms are painful.


• A 7 lb bag of ice will chill 6-12 oz Budweisers to a drinkable temperature in 11 minutes, and still keep a 14 lb. turkey frozen for 8 more hours. [Editorial comment: partially stricken as obviously false; there is no temperature at which Budweiser is drinkable.]


• There are a lot of dang trees around here.


• Flood plain drawings on some mortgage documents were seriously wrong.


• Aluminum siding, while aesthetically pleasing [Editorial comment: ????????!], is definitely not required.


• Crickets can increase their volume to overcome the sound of 14 generators.


• People will get into a line that has already formed without having any idea what the line is for.


• When required, a Lincoln Continental will float -- doesn't steer well but floats all the same.


• Telemarketers function no matter what the weather is doing.


• Cell phones work when land lines are down, but only as long as the battery remains charged.


• 27 of your neighbors are fed from a different transformer than you, and they are quick to point that out!


• Hampers were not made to contain such a volume.


• If my store sold only ice, chainsaws, gas and generators... I'd be rich. [Editorial comment: that is, until the trial lawyers showed up with their price-gouging lawsuits.]


• The price of a can of soup rises 200% in times of storm and flood. [Editorial comment: that's because it's a floating price. (This appalling pun brought to you by the Committee of Persons Wishing To Elicit Groans from Jennifer.)]


• Your waterfront property can quickly become someone else's fishing hole.


• Tree service companies are under-appreciated.


• Having previously made fun of another state's blackout: karma is a bitch.


• ECON 101: 30 days in month, minus 6 days without power equals 30% higher electric bill?????


• Drywall is a compound word, take away the "dry" part and it's
  worthless.


• I can walk a lot farther than I thought.