That's Why They Call It "Booty" Dept

Tina Yeakley, 32, is quite the shoplifter. Given the inventory of swag she was caught with, one really wants to know what's on her weekly shopping list. (Or perhaps really doesn't want to know, on second thought.) When apprehended by an investigating officer, Ms. Yeakley's purse and blue jeans contained the following items on which she had unilaterally granted herself a 100% discount:

• Two dental kits...


• ...one bottle of cologne...


• ...one toy car...


• ...twelve packs of Ponds Facial Strips...


• ...one bottle of antifungal cream...


• ...two fingernail kits...


• ...and two bottles of foundation primer.

But wait, there's more! That's just what the officer found in her purse. After that, he explained that he was going to have to pat her down, at which point she unbuttoned her britches and proceeded to remove from concealment...

• ...ten DVDs, among them Girls Just Wanna Have Fun and (in what for her sake we can hope is not an omen of things to come) Death Row...


• ...one Play Station video game...


• ...one pair of white tube socks...


• ...one black and red bra...


• ...one black and red pair of panties with the word "pouty" printed on them...


• ...three pairs of size 4T boys underwear...


• ...and two women's rings.

You go, girl! (I say this in the same spirit as that in which folks in Dallas, back in some of the bleaker years, used to sport a bumper sticker that read, "Go, Cowboys! -- and take the Mavericks with ya.")

HT: Dave, one of whose irrepressible commenters adds the following one-two punch of a comment:

And that's why they call it "booty."

Does this stolen merchandise make my butt look fat?