Saturday, July 26, 2008

The Onion's Man-On-The-Street Opinion of the Day Dept

Under the heading, "Talking Through Tragedy Not Necessarily Beneficial," the Onion asks, "A study conducted by the University of Buffalo found that people who discuss their feelings following a tragedy are no more likely to feel better later than those who don't. What do you think?"

The response of Tim Pew, Woodcarver:

"This is all the more reason not to listen when people start yammering about their problems."

My sentiments exactly.

This reminds me of the late Cathy Seipp's priceless takedown of the therapists who ran around pestering children after the 1994 California quake:
One disturbing thing I remember from the 1994 quake is the arrival of a swarm of dog puppets, introduced by wandering psychotherapists who invaded Red Cross shelters to counsel children about how scary the earthquake was, in case they hadn't quite realized. If eventually they — or you — tired of talking about how scary it was, well then, you were in earthquake denial, and everyone and his dog puppet would know it.

Cathy died of cancer not that long ago, but if ever there was a person who didn't whine about her problems, that would have been Cathy. I can't remember where I saw this, but one of friends reminisced about the time a bunch of Cathy's friends had a party to celebrate Cathy's cancer's having gone into temporary remission, and Cathy stood up and said, "I just want everybody to know that cancer hasn't made me a better person..."

Oh, sorry, back to the Onion (I'm not supposed to ambush you Gentle Readers with serious stuff inside "Dept" posts; my bad):

Under the heading, "Pope Decries Materialism," the Onion asks, "During a visit to Australia, Pope Benedict XVI spoke out against the "sense of despair" that accompanies material prosperity. What do you think?"

The response of Kevin Sidorov, Night Watchman:

"Then the pope must be the saddest person in the world."

Finally, under the heading, "McCain Addresses NAACP," the Onion asks, "Presumptive Republican presidential candidate John McCain spoke before the NAACP on Wednesday. What do you think?"

The response of Oren Sobotka, Police Officer:

"That's a good start. Now he should address all of the black people who aren't in the NAACP. Which is most black people."


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