Messed up on that last update

I shouldn't blog about the divorce in the wee hours. (I forgot that my car was parked in the surface lot until it was 11:00 and everybody else had gone home and the lot was locked; so I perforce spent the night in the office trying to sleep stretched across four small cushion-equipped filing cabinets placed end to end. That was not terribly successful so I passed some of the time blogging...but mental sharpness was running low.)

At any rate, I was appalled just now when I followed a comment back to that post and saw the following sentence, which I'm sure nobody would take the way I meant it:

"...it's not like my marriage was a source of joy to me..."

This was actually meant along the same lines as the later paragraph in which I said:

But, you know, I wasn't very successful as a husband -- it's gonna be rather hard for me not to feel like, if my friends want to set me up with this lady friend or that lady friend, they must not think too highly of the lady in question. Intellectually I know that's not how they see it, but that's how it feels. Sort of like Groucho Marx not wanting to belong to any club that would be willing to have him as a member.

That is, the main reason my marriage has not been a source of joy to me, is my own dissatisfaction with the poor showing I've made as a husband; and considering that Dessie's divorcing me, the marriage has obviously been even less of a source of joy to her than to me. But in the light of day I've realized that that sentence will inevitably be taken, in its context, to mean, "I'm glad to have gotten away from that [bad word]," which was not its intent. My sincere apologies to Dessie (should she read this, which I seriously doubt) for my carelessness in composition.