News flash to Sheila Brown: a person raising two happy children is probably contributing more to society than is a person who keeps five quiet dogs

"I have five dogs," says Ms. Brown. "Five dogs don't make this much noise."

I'll tell you something, if the sound of children playing happily outdoors during the daytime doesn't gladden your heart, then you are in dire need of a personality transplant.

We can only charitably hope that the darker issues at which Ms. Brown hints ("...this is an ongoing issue far beyond children playing in the pool") have rather more substance to them...or, no, on second thought, while that might be charitable to Ms. Brown, it would be uncharitable to the Poczateks. (What do you want to bet that it's something like this: Ms. Brown is a conservative evangelical-Christian Republican and the Poczateks are secularist liberal Democrats? Or perhaps vice versa?)

Yes, yes, I know that I don't know the whole story. But...ye gods. Taking an eleven-year-old and a five-year-old to court because they make too much noise when they're playing in their backyard swimming pool...

I'm just really, really glad Ms. Brown isn't my neighbor. And since I have nine kids all of whom enjoy our small swimming pool, I imagine Ms. Brown can be glad she isn't mine.