Engineer jokes

It's an obscure genre, but it has some decent stuff in it:

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The respective wives of a mechanical engineer, an electrical engineer, and a software engineer are all talking about what it's like when their husbands make love to them.

The mechanical engineer's wife: "When my husband makes love to me, it's just incredible stuff -- he knows exactly how to rev up my engine, if you know what I mean."

The electrical engineer's wife: "When my husband makes love to me, it's just awesome -- he knows just which buttons to push to make the sirens go off, if you know what I mean."

The software engineer's wife [plaintively]: "When my husband makes love to me, he just sits on the side of the bed and tells me how great it's gonna be two months from now."

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A mechanical engineer, an electrical engineer and a civil engineer are arguing about what kind of engineer God is.

The mechanical engineer's argument that God is a mechanical engineer: "Just look at all the different types of sockets, at the use of leverage in the ligaments and muscular system, at the delivery systems for nutrients and oxygen..."

The electrical engineer's argument that God is a double-E: "We can't even begin to imagine the complexity of the programming of the nervous system that makes consciousness and thought and creativity and art and even worship possible..."

The civil engineer's argument that God is a civil engineer: "Who else would run a toxic waste line right smack through the middle of a recreational facility?"

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A mechanical engineer, an electrical engineer, and a software engineer are in a car that has broken down.

The mechanical engineer's suggestion: "Maybe we've thrown a rod."

The electrical engineer's suggestion: "Maybe the alternator's gone out."

The software engineer's suggestion: "Why don't we all get out of the car, get back in again, and see if that fixes it?"