And you thought it was rude of her not to take the baby outside to calm it down...

Okay, so you're a mom, and you've been taken to a restaurant for Mother's Day, but your one-year-old kid is screaming and won't stop, and the 56-year-old woman next to you, who is taking her own 90-year-old mother out for Mother's Day, asks you to please get your child to be quiet. What do you do?

Well, obviously, if you're a sane person with manners at least as good as, say, a retired Hell's Angel, you take your child outside of the restaurant and get him calmed down.

But if you're 24-year-old Sylvia Harris, you just ignore the woman and let your kid keep screaming. And if she keeps asking, you just let the kid keep screaming, until she is finally so frustrated that she yells at your kid to shut up.

And when that happens, you jump up and start beating the crap out of the old lady, starting The Great Toledo Mother's Day Brawl, which results in five people's (including your richly deserving self) getting arrested, plus four people's (including the 54-year-old and her 90-year-old mother) winding up in the emergency room.

So can we all just agree that the one-year-old in question ought seriously to consider investing in a foster or adoptive mother at his earliest convenience?

Meanwhile, I have just one question that occurred to me instantly and that I can't get out of my mind:

Was the kid's dad not there, or was he just too much of a jerk (or a wimp) to deal with the kid problem himself? I mean, how do you not say, "Dear, why don't you just enjoy your meal while Junior and I go outside to work this out"?

HT: Riehl World View.