Department of Inner Peace

Sally's godmother Ann Messer passes on the following advice, and you can follow it with confidence because it comes from not just one but two doctors: Dr. Phil (okay, I grant you he's his profession's Geraldo Rivera) and Dr. Ann herself. I intend to put it into practice just as soon as I'm through posting.

Ann tells me:

...By following this simple advice I heard on a Dr. Phil show, I have finally found inner peace.

Dr. Phil proclaimed that the way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started. So I looked around my house to see anything I might have started and not finished; and before leaving the house this morning I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of white Zinfandel, a bottle of Baileys, a bottle of Kahlua, a package of Oreos, the remainder of both Prozac and Valium prescriptions, the rest of the cheesecake, some saltines and a box of chocolates. You have no idea how freakin' good I feel.

Please pass this on to anyone you feel is in need of inner peace...