Friday, September 16, 2011

What? Dr. Conan T. Barbarian didn't have tenure?

Now this was an English professor whose classes might actually have been worth attending. Or, well, considering that MSNBC adds a critical piece of information omitted by the Irish Times, maybe not: "[Dr. Barbarian's] stated classroom policy is to crucify students who cheat or show weakness."

The full text from the picture:
Long Room Hub Associate Professor in Hyborian Studies and Tyrant Slaying.

Dr Conan T. Barbarian was ripped from his mother's womb on the corpse-strewn battlefields of his war-torn homeland, Cimmeria, and has been preparing for academic life ever since. A firm believer in the dictum that "that which does not kill us makes us stronger," he took time out to avenge the death of his parents following a sojourn pursuing his strong interest in Post-Colonial theory at the Sorbonne. In between, he spent several years tethered to the fearsome "Wheel of Pain", time which he now feels helped provide him with the mental discipline and sado-masochistic proclivities necessary to sucessfully tackle contemporary critical theory. He completed his PhD, entitled "To Hear The Lamentation of Their Women: Constructions of Masculinity in Contemporary Zamoran Literature" at UCD and was appointed to the School of English in 2006, after sucessfully decapitating his predecessor during a bloody battle which will long be remembered in legend and song. In 2011/12, he will be teaching on the following courses: "The Relevance of Crom in the Modern World", "Theories of Literature", "Vengeance for Beginners", "Deciphering the Riddle of Steel" and "D.H. Lawrence". He strongly objects to the terms of the Croke Park agreement and the current trend for remaking 1980s films that he believes were perfectly good enough in the first place.

He is happy to hear from potential research students with an interest of any of these topics, but applicants should note that anyone found guilty of academic misconduct or weakness in the face of the enemy will be crucified as an example to the others.

Email: conanb@tcd.ie


You can see the actual page, complete with Dr. Barbarian's staff photo, here (hat tip to Meg Gardiner, who adds, "As the daughter of an English professor, I can attest that academic battles fully deserve to be memorialized through epic poetry and ululation").

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