Why it's tough to be in the Peril's family

Because you have to put up with conversations such as these two:

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[Helen is trying to convince me to learn mah jongg, which my friend Duane is also trying to talk me into playing with him]

HELEN: And it's a good way to learn lots of Chinese zi [Chinese characters].

ME: Well, I have a head start, because I already know what má jiàng means.

HELEN: [surprised] Really? What?

ME: It means, "Take the white guy's money."

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[Rusty and I are discussing the advisability of Rusty's responding to the flirting of his good friend's ex-girlfriend, who appears to have transferred her affections to Rusty despite, he assures me, a complete lack of encouragement on his part. We have already agreed that it would be a bad idea for him to jeopardize the friendship by taking up with the girl, especially given that when one is a junior high guy, one's male friendships last way longer than one's tender dalliances. So I sum up the conclusion as follows:]

ME: At your age, you should definitely prioritize manly friendships ahead of evanescent romantic entanglements.

RUSTY: What?

ME: Bros before hos.