Why it's kind of a trial to be my friend
'Cause I'm ornery (pronounced "AHOHN-ree").
Conversational Exhibit A:
FRIEND [as the Peril wanders past where she's standing]: Hey, Kenny, do you know what time it is?
PERIL [consults his watch, then cheerfully]: Yep.
Conversational Exhibit B, occurring on the Thursday following the Sunday that was the Peril's 43rd birthday:
FRIEND: Kenny, I'd like to take you out to lunch for your birthday. Will that work today?
PERIL: That's very nice of you, but you do realize my birthday's almost a year from now, right?