Thursday, April 23, 2009

Redneck Religious Conversion Dept

And another one from Karl:

Each Friday night after work, James Louis would fire up his outdoor grill and cook himself a venison steak. But, all of James Louis's neighbors were Catholic...and every time Lent came around, they were forbidden from eating meat on Fridays.

Now the Catholics wouldn't've mind going without meat, except that the aroma from the grilled venison steaks got to causing way more temptation than any good Catholic ought to have to overcome. Got to be such a problem for the Catholic faithful that they finally went to their priest for advice.

Well, the priest decided the easiest thing to do was just to convert James Louis to Catholicism. So he commenced to visiting the old redneck, and managed to get him into confirmation classes, and next thing you know James Louis was standing at the baptismal font getting sprinkled with holy water, while the priest informed him proudly, "You may have been born a Baptist, and you may have been raised a Baptist, but from now on you're a Catholic!"

James Louis's neighbors were right proud of their priest for solving their problem, and everything was calm and serene right up until Lent came around. But then, on the very first Friday night of Lent, what did the neighbors smell but that same ol' dee-licious, way-too-temptin' smell of venison on the grill.

Well, naturally the neighbors called the priest right away, and he came rushing over to James Lewis's house, rosary in hand, ready to give James Lewis a good talkin'-to. But as he came around the corner of the house he stopped in his tracks and stood there staring -- as James Lewis, bottle of holy water firmly in hand, addressed his venison steak gravely:

"Mebbe you wuz borned a deer, and mebbe you was raised a deer, but from now on, you's a catfish!"