Bad (by which I of course mean good) pun of the day
From an advertisement I just heard for a massage spa:
"Give your friends and family a massage for Christmas. They'll be touched."
But the truth is, -- I am not a wise man ; ---- and besides am a mortal of so little consequence in the world, it is not much matter what I do ; so I seldom fret or fume at all about it. -- Tristam Shandy