Two phone conversations

[The Peril notes on his BlackBerry that he has missed a call from an unrecognized phone number, and politely returns the call. The mystery person answers.]

MYSTERY PERSON: Hello?

PERIL: Hello, this is Ken Pierce returning...

MYSTERY PERSON: Hello? Hello? I can't hear you.

[The Peril is trying to place the voice -- it sounds more like his daughter Kasia than like anybody else he knows but not quite.]

PERIL: Kasia, is that you? Can you...

MYSTERY PERSON: Okay, hanging up now...

[A long beep signifies that the phone is now ready to record the Peril's message, and the Peril perceives that he has just been listening to the sort of voice mail message that a person of less than full maturity would think unspeakably hilarious. He is mildly disappointed as he had thought his daughter was a bit further along than that stage; but then maybe it isn't her...but then who is it?]

PERIL [chuckles politely]: This is Ken Pierce, returning your call. I apologize, I can't quite place the voice, but I suspect maybe I should be saying, "This is Dad." At any rate, that's an inventive voice mail message. Call me back if you need to talk to me.

[Later that day the Peril's phone rings.]

PERIL: Hello.

MYSTERY PERSON: Hello, this is the person whose voice you didn't recognize.

[It still sounds remarkably, but not quite, like Kasia; the Peril temporizes.]

PERIL [laughs politely]: Okay. Interesting voice message you have there. What did you need?

MYSTERY PERSON: Can I talk to Merry?

PERIL [drawing the conclusion that this is not one of his own children]: Um, you haven't called Merry's phone. This is her dad.

MYSTERY PERSON: Well, this is Zach. [The Peril thinks: "Aha! Do we perhaps have a boyfriend here?" and also, practically simultaneously, "I doubt Zach would be flattered to know how much he sounds like a girl." Mystery Person, hereafter to be referred to as "Zach," proceeds in an aggrieved tone:] Why isn't Merry answering my calls?

PERIL [mentally amending "possible boyfriend" to "definite ex-boyfriend who hasn't yet clued in to his new status"]: Zach, I tell you what, would you like me to give you Merry's number?

ZACH [with an asperity somewhat incompatible with proper training in the expression of appropriate respect for one's elders, even the ones that don't happen to be fathers of young ladies upon whose virtue one has designs]: No, I have her number, I've been calling her. [petulantly demanding] Why isn't Merry returning my calls?

PERIL [very gently, because he does, after all, remember being a teenaged boy, and knows more than he wishes he knew about how cruel people who used to love one can be]: Zach, you know, sometimes girls just get that way.

ZACH [abruptly, perhaps realizing to whom he is speaking]: I have to go. Good-bye. [hangs up]

[The Peril looks bemusedly at his phone, then chuckles, shakes his head, and gets back to work.]