Speakers of Truth to Power Dept

Not being a huge fan of the media in general, I enjoyed this joke (which I have cleaned up slightly for this family blog) from my friend Mac, a fine commenter in the old days over at ATB.

Dan Rather, Katie Couric, and an Israeli commando have been captured by terrorists in Iraq. The leader of the terrorists tells them that he will grant them each one last request before they were beheaded.

Rather says, "Well, I'm a Texan, so I'd like one last bowlful of hot spicy chili."

The leader nods to an underling who leaves and returns with the chili.

Rather polishes it off, leans back, checks to make sure the camera is rolling, and says, "Now I can die content. Courage!"

Couric says, "I'm a Real Reporter, dammit. I want to take out my tape recorder and describe the scene here and what's about to happen. Maybe someday someone will hear it and know that I was on the job till the end."

The terror leader directs an aide to hand over the tape recorder and Couric dictates some comments. She then smiles her most carefully polished smile and says, "Now I can die perky."

The leader turns and scowls at the commando. "And now, Israeli dog, what is your final wish?"

"Kick me in the butt," answers the soldier calmly.

"What?" asks the leader in fury. "Will you mock us even in your last hour?"

"No, I'm not kidding. I want you to kick me in the butt," insists the Israeli cheerfully.

So the leader shoves him into the middle of the room and aims an enthusiastic kick at his butt -- but in the blink of an eye the Israeli spins away from the kick, smashes his fist into the astonished terrorist's larynx, spins the corpse in front of him as a shield, yanks the late terrorist's pistol from its holster, and drills three neat holes perfectly centered in the foreheads of each of the three guards. Without pausing an instant he springs across the room, snatches up a machine gun, dive-rolls back across the floor and sprays the doorway just as the guards from the next room burst in. Then, with silent, predatory grace he disappears through the door. Thirty more seconds of gunfire and chaos ensue; then an eerie quiet falls. At last the commando strides calmly back into the room and begins untying Rather and Couric.

In confusion, they ask him, "We don't understand...why didn't you just kill them to begin with? Why did you ask them to kick you in the butt first?"

"What," replies the Israeli shortly, "and have you two jerks report that I was the aggressor?"