August delivers the final verdict on the "Calculus Cheer"

Yesterday, as 5:00 on Friday drew near and business meetings began to tend toward the festive, I mentioned the "Calculus Cheer" to a few of the guys at work, including my friend August. They weren't familiar with it -- it's the sort of cheer that is chanted by a student body that (a) goes to a school (such as Rice) well-known for its high SAT scores and (b) is presently engaged in getting a football whupping from a college (such as any of Rice's old Southwest Conference foes back in the day) with somewhat lower academic standards but very much larger offensive linemen. There are several such cheers, e.g.:

That's alright, that's okay,
You're gonna work for us someday,

or, if the margin of smackdown is approaching the half-century mark,

S-T-U, P-I-D, what didja get on your SAT,
You're stupid!
Yeah, yeah, you're stupid!

But these show no real superiority of intelligence, merely superfluity of, um, some sort of envy. However, an anonymous engineer (or committee thereof), long ago when the world was young, actually crafted a cheer whose use requires a level of education higher than elementary school. This is the "Calculus Cheer." My co-workers had never heard it, and so we temporarily tabled the ostensible subject of discussion long enough for me to chant the cheer for them, at the end of which August pronounced a verdict we all had to admit was pretty much the last word on the subject.

So, here's the cheer (warning: it turns a bit non-Baptist at the end):

E-to-the-x! E-to-the-x!
E-to-the-x, dy, dx!
Cosine, secant, tangent, sine,
Three point one four one five nine,
Label the axes y and x,
To hell with football, we want sex!

To which August instantly and firmly responded, "Well, you're not gonna get it chanting that."