"The Mirror of Truth" Dept

There's a bar down near the Ship Channel (that's local color for other persons condemned like myself to live in Houston) with a special private room in which hangs a mirror that is very special indeed. It is the Mirror of Truth. If your heart is courageous and your mind is clear, then you may stand before the Mirror and give utterance to any of your deepest beliefs. And if you are wise and what you say is true, then the Mirror rewards you with the granting of any one of the desires of your heart. But if you are self-deceived and what you say is false...poof! You disappear forever, never to be seen in this world again.

Not many take the risk. But a few days back, three women in a row took their shots.

First was a charming little redhead brimming over with personality but, alas, not blessed with a face capable of launching an inflatable pool mattress, much less a thousand ships. Had she said, "I think I'm delightfully charming and witty," all would have been well. But instead she said, "I think I'm the most beautiful woman in the world." And instantly -- poof!

A few minutes later, up to the mirror stepped a hard-faced, chain-smoking brunette, who tragically had drawn the wrong conclusion from the fact that there was hardly a man to be found in this or any of the next three bars who had not had sex with her. "I think I'm the sexiest woman in Houston." Poof!

But the third woman...now here was something special. Five-foot six blonde, heart-stopping smile, fabulous figure, legs clear up to here, a graceful and demure but somehow indefinably inviting little something in her walk that would make a dead man recover his vigor. She stands proudly before the Mirror of Truth, flashing that supermodel smile. "I think..." Poof!