Kegster update

Various bits of vital information about the aftermath of Kegan's recent Educational Experience (scroll down to get to the part about Kegan):

1. Time under general anaesthetic: a couple of hours.
2. Number of weeks before they take the wires off and he can open his mouth again: six.
3. Estimated cost out of our pocket if the other kid's parents don't contribute to the cause: $3,000.
4. Number of other kids eager to explain to the police that they saw what happened: five.
5. Number of eyewitness accounts that made Kegan sound more innocent and more unjustifiably wronged than did Kegan's own account: five. (Which actually makes me proud of Kegan's honesty.)
6. Chance that the insurance company's lawyers will go after the other kid's parents for the other two grand or so: oh, let's see, what do you think?
7. Chance that the insurance company's lawyers will also go after the school on the grounds that there were no adults monitoring the hall in which the incident took place: hmmm, I suppose that depends on whether the kid's parents have deep enough pockets to make the insurance company whole.
8. Time required for Kegan to master the art of talking with his mouth wired shut: um, let's see, how long did it take for the anaesthetic to wear off?...