The humor writer's favorite type of comment...

...is the one from the moron who has no clue the humor writer is, um, writing comedy and is not serious.

For example, Dave Barry wrote a piece just before the NBA Finals about how much better Miami is than Dallas -- quite funny, and as is Dave's habit, more or less entirely fact-free (the only time you are expected to believe anything Dave writes is when he says explicitly, "I am not making this up"). And of course notice was taken in Dallas, on the Mavericks fan forum of the Dallas Morning News. So here are a couple of the responses they got in their comments forum.

"James" appears to be responding to this paragraph from Dave's piece (which, actually, is more or less as true as anything I've written on this blog in the past week):

Billionaire owners: Each team has one. The Heat's billionaire is Micky Arison, a quiet, dignified man who pretty much stays out of the limelight, preferring to let the actual basketball players get the attention. The Cows' billionaire is Mark Cuban, who takes a somewhat different approach, which is to do everything possible to make sure that nobody ever, for one second, forgets that he is a billionaire NBA owner.

To which "James" responds:

Not only is Dave Barry a 2nd rate reporter, he's also a lousy researcher. He says (in his op-ed) that Dallas has 1 billionaire, Mark Cuban. If he did his homework (read Forbes 400 Richest people) then he would have known that Ross Perot, Jerry Jones AND Tom Hicks are all billionaires that call Dallas Home. Im sure there are a couple more but I proved my point.

I presume that the point in question is the one at the apex of James's head.

Elsewhere in that article Dave mentions that people all across the country frequently visit Dallas:

They go to Dallas mainly to change planes, which at the Dallas-Fort Worth airport can also be very exciting, as you know if you've ever attempted to get from gate B-36 to gate C-39 (a distance of eight miles) in time to make your connecting flight, which leaves in 13 minutes.

Fortunately "Julie" is fact-checking Dave and is not about to let him get away with factual sloppiness:

Trivial I know but I seriously doubt that the distance between gates B and C is 8 miles.

Steve Blow, however, humor columnist for the Dallas Morning News, knows how to give Dave his own medicine back:

The Miami Heat? According to official government records, you know how many times it has hit 100 in Miami?

Once! In 1942.

Please – 100 degrees? We call that April.

Everyone knows the real problem in Miami. It's not the heat that kills you, it's the stupidity.

And lastly, we must address a delicate matter. I'm sorry to even raise this, but it must be dealt with.

Considering the ethnic makeup of Miami, I'm shocked that Mr. Barry has revealed the ugly truth about himself.

And considering how volatile Miami is, I sure hope this doesn't create loud, frightening protests in front of his mansion.

But after all the demeaning things he wrote in his column about our Mavs owner, we must face the truth:

Dave Barry is anti-Cuban.