Dad proposes, biology disposes

Keep forgetting to link to this delightful little post over at Jim's Guesstimate.

In a similar spirit:

Back when Sean and Kegan (now 12 and in severe danger of showing disrespect for their father by being taller than he) were still in car seats, I still had plans to have them grow up non-violent. I, having grown up with no siblings save a younger sister whom I was never allowed to clobber no matter the provocation ("no real man ever hits a woman," which I still pretty much believe)...um, where was I? Oh, yes, I didn't punch people growing up and intended for my boys not to do so either.

So we're headed down the road and I look in the rear-view mirror of our Mazda mini-van, and there is Sean with Kegan in a head-lock, fist cocked gleefully. Before I can get my mouth open, bam! he clobbers him smack on top of the skull. I'm about to yank the car over to the side and wade in mighty in my wrath, but there's no shoulder...and then Kegan pops up, holding the top of his head in obvious pain...and giggling with delight. Then Sean obligingly leans over towards Kegan, who head-locks him, winds up, and bam! Sean pops up wincing and giggling. Then Kegan leans over...

Well, I went ahead and pulled the car over. But by the time the car had stopped, I had abandoned my non-violence scheme for good; might as well tell puppies not to wrestle and chew on each other. Instead I just told 'em, "Okay, look, you wanna play those games, you go ahead, but if it gets too rough and one of ya comes a-whinin' to me saying, 'He hit me!' don't think you're gettin' any sympathy from your old man..."