"Fancy His Not Being Able to Spell That Particular Word" Dept

True story.

Last night I was down at my second office (that is, the sports bar in Houston where I tend to work in the evenings, thanks to their excellent wireless network and their inexhaustible supply of Shiner Bock, Bass and coffee). I blogged, a day or two ago, this picture that has greatly amused Houston sports fans in the aftermatch of Game 5. It's a sports joke, of course; and so it occurred to me last night that Steve and Holly and Kristin and the other folks gainfully employed at Sports 'n' More might get a kick out of the picture. I carried the laptop over to the bar, and sure enough, uproarious merriment ensued.

Now, there was a fella standing over at the pool tables...I'm sorry, but just to look at this stereotypically redneck dude was to say to yourself, "Hm, prob'ly not that bright." (And I say this as someone who is proudly redneck myself.) He hollers over at me, "Hey, whaddaya keep showing people there?" So I invited him over to see the picture, which I include here as a memory refresher.

The not-so-bright dude -- call him "Red" -- reads the words slowly and carefully out loud, for all the world like the sort of person who reads out loud because he has to. "Pitch...around...Pujols...dumbass..." He stops, smitten by sudden fear that he read the last word wrongly; and he tries again, this time carefully enunciating the b: "...dum-bass."

Those of us standing nearby look at each other and blink a couple of times in astonishment; but we are all polite persons and therefore manage to keep a straight face. Red has a buddy who came over to see the picture, too, and the buddy carefully corrects him: "No, no, it's 'dumbass.'"

Embarrassed and annoyed by having been made to look silly in front of strangers, Red bursts out in querulous bitterness:

"But they spelled it wrong."