Monday, April 18, 2005

"Thank God Garrison Ain't Angry" Dept

In a very interesting little piece about how the Republican Party is dragging the entire world into the Pit of Eternal Perdition, Garrison Keillor diagnoses a problem and...well, surely he would be careful to follow his own advice, right?

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The party of Lincoln and Liberty was transmogrified into the party of hairy-backed swamp developers and corporate shills, faith-based economists, fundamentalist bullies with Bibles, Christians of convenience, freelance racists, misanthropic frat boys, shrieking midgets of AM radio, tax cheats, nihilists in golf pants, brownshirts in pinstripes, sweatshop tycoons, hacks, fakirs, aggressive dorks, Lamborghini libertarians, people who believe Neil Armstrong’s moonwalk was filmed in Roswell, New Mexico, little honkers out to diminish the rest of us, Newt’s evil spawn and their Etch-A-Sketch president, a dull and rigid man suspicious of the free flow of information and of secular institutions, whose philosophy is a jumble of badly sutured body parts trying to walk. Republicans: The No.1 reason the rest of the world thinks we’re deaf, dumb and dangerous...Hypocrisies shine like cat turds in the moonlight!...And in a time of vague fear, you can appoint bullet-brained judges, strip the bark off the Constitution, eviscerate federal regulatory agencies, bring public education to a standstill, stupefy the press, lavish gorgeous tax breaks on the rich...This gang of Pithecanthropus Republicanii has humbugged us to death on terrorism and tax cuts for the comfy and school prayer and flag burning and claimed the right to know what books we read and to dump their sewage upstream from the town and clear-cut the forests and gut the IRS and mark up the constitution on behalf of intolerance and promote the corporate takeover of the public airwaves and to hell with anybody who opposes them.
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After which, Keillor observes that this is a great country, "and it wasn't made so by angry people" [emphasis the Peril's]. Well, GK, it's reassuring to know that if we handed the country over to you it would be in good hands, eh? "Hypocrisies shine like..." oh, rats, the rest of the quote seems to have slipped my mind...

The Peril

P.S. Gutting the IRS -- that's a bad thing?

Note: I'm making fun of Keillor's genuinely self-oblivious self-condemnation, not his liberalism.

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