For positions in government "service," only the best and brightest need apply

THE CASE: A lawsuit over whether records at the county recorder's office should be readily available at reasonable cost.

THE WITNESS: A $64,000-per-year (not counting benefits and pension) public "servant."

THE QUESTION: "During your tenure in the computer department at the Recorder's office, has the Recorder's office had photocopying machines?"

THE ANSWER: ...

Well, actually, that would be a very long blog post, because the Witness demands that the lawyer define the term "photocopying machine." At one point, we have this exchange:

WITNESS: ...and I'm asking if you could help me out by explaining what you mean by "photocopying machines" instead of trying to make me feel stupid.

COUNSEL: If you feel stupid, it's not because I'm making you feel that way.

Really, the whole thing is worth reading, if only because for once in your life you'll probably find yourself on the lawyer's side. Towards the end of the excerpt we get the following exchange:

COUNSEL: Have you ever -- do you have machines there where I can put in a paper document, push a button or two, and out will come copies of that paper document also on paper? Do you have such a machine?

WITNESS: Yes, sir.

COUNSEL: What do you call that machine?

WITNESS: Xerox.