Lines of the day

All having to do with politics, and all falling more or less in line with my own opinions on the topics addressed, but included on this blog instead of over at Politics of the Peril because I'm mostly posting them 'cause I laughed when I read them.

Anonymous "tea party" protestor to the Dishonorable Steny Hoyer (as quoted at Volokh): "Why are you guys trying to stuff a health care bill down our throat in three or four weeks when the President took six months to pick out a dog for his kids?" Pretty much unanswerable, that one. (By the way, I can't remember where I saw it but somebody is proposing that we all call our representatives and demand a pledge that they will refuse to vote on any health care bill until the entire text has been published on-line for public perusal and debate for a minimum of one month. Excellent idea. Never happen.)

Secondly, this has apparently been making the rounds for a while but I only just saw it today, though, alas, I can't remember where and can't do the hat tip thing:

"Political Correctness (n.): a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical, liberal minority and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media,which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end."

Look, I know that language is not quite family-friendly, but I never saw it coming and did a full-blown dry spit take (that is to say, thank heaven I wasn't in the middle of a sip of Scotch because I hate to waste Scotch). How did I, redneck that I am, reach the age of 42 without ever having heard that particular metaphor for "that which is manifestly impossible and besides no person with any common sense would want to do it to begin with"? And I would think it was just as funny -- no, really, Jennifer, I promise -- if the set-up had been three lines of equally pompous, look-at-me-the-intellectual six-syllable-word puffery targeting conservatives. That's a perfect example of the art of setting up a punch line for maximum impact. Well done, whoever you are that crafted that one.

Finally, we have Insty's summation of the clumsiness of the Democrats' reaction to the wellspring of opposition to the health care bill, which illustrates Insty's true genius: nobody on earth consistently gets his point across so effectively in so few words. Again, I admire (indeed, am rather in awe of) the craftsmanship even though I frequently disagree with the point he's making. Insty's version of the health care dialogue to date:

Obama: I’m going to turn healthcare upside down. Not sure how.

People: I don’t think I’ll like this.

Obama: Haters!