A classic Christmas car... Hey, wait a minute there!

I've been spending a lot of time at Java Dave's this week because I've had a nasty little contagious virus and the doctor forbade me to go in to work; but I had work to do all the same. So Java Dave's became my office.

Alas, Java Dave's has, ever since Thanksgiving, kept the soundtrack tuned to Sunny 95.5, one of these syrupy easy-listening stations that is playing nothing between now and Christmas except Christmas music. Now, since there are a pretty limited number of playable Christmas songs, this means that I am heartily sick of most of the songs on their playlist, even though I really like most of those songs under ordinary circumstances.

But there's one song I haven't gotten sick of, mostly because it cracks me up every time I hear it. It's not so much that the song is amusing, though it is, to be sure, a classic comic masterpiece. It's that Sunny 95.5 has decided that this song -- the old sui generis 1940's-era watch-me-seduce-you-since-we-both-know-you-really-want-me-to, we're-not-"no-means-no"-feminists-here dialog duet, "Baby It's Cold Outside" -- Sunny 95.5 has decided that "Baby It's Cold Outside" is a Christmas song.

I mean...it's a very cute and classically inventive musical number and all, but...a Christmas song??

Actually, it occurs to me that many of my younger readers are not necessarily big fans of Ella and Louis and may not know the song. So here are the lyrics, which are sung back-and-forth between the girl and the boy, with only the last, "Baby, it's cold outside" of each verse being sung together, in harmony. The girl sings the first half of each line and the boy responds:

I really can't stay
Baby, it's cold outside
I've got to go 'way
Baby, it's cold outside
This evening has been
Been hoping that you'd drop in
So very nice
I'll hold your hands, they're just like ice
My mother will start to worry
Beautiful, what's your hurry
My father will be pacing the floor
Listen to the fireplace roar
So really I'd better scurry...
Beautiful, please don't hurry
Well, maybe just a half a drink more
Put some music on while I pour

The neighbors might think
Baby, it's bad out there
Say, what's in this drink
No cabs to be had out there
I wish I knew how
Your eyes are like starlight now
To break this spell
I'll take your hat, your hair looks swell
I ought to say no, no, no, sir
Mind if I move in closer
At least I'm gonna say that I tried
What's the sense in hurting my pride
I really can't stay
Baby don't hold out
(together) Ahh, but it's cold outside

I simply must go
Baby, it's cold outside
The answer is no
But baby, it's cold outside
This welcome has been
I'm lucky that you dropped in
So nice and warm
Look out the window at that storm
My sister will be suspicious
Gosh, your lips look delicious
My brother will be there at the door
Waves upon a tropical shore
My maiden aunt's mind is vicious
Gosh your lips are delicious
Well maybe just a half a drink more
Never such a blizzard before

I've got to go home
But, baby, you'll freeze out there
Say, lend me your comb
It's up to your knees out there
You've really been grand
Your eyes are like starlight now
But don't you see
How can you do this thing to me?
There's bound to be talk tomorrow
Think of my life long sorrow
At least there will be plenty implied
If you caught pneumonia and died
I really can't stay
Get over that hold-out
(together) Ahh, but it's cold outside

Where could you be goin'
When the wind is blowin' and it's cold outside?

(together)Baby, it's cold, cold outside

Now if that song doesn't capture the spirit of Christmas, you show me a song that does... [chuckling delightedly]