"Criminal Mastermind of the D...Oops, Never Mind" Dept

So you're a cop in Montgomery Township, New Jersey. (Let's just say right now, by the way, that if you're living of your own free will in New Jersey, then whatever happens to you, you had it coming; so this post is about laughing at you, not pitying you.) A bank alarm goes off. You go to the bank and peek in, and you see in the shadows the outline of a person standing in the lobby where no person should be at that hour. You go to Condition Red. You evacuate everybody in the next three apartment building. You call to the robber on bullhorns; you call him on the phone; he doesn't respond; he just ignores you entirely. Finally your SWAT team bursts into the building and discovers...

HT: His Daveness