Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Be Sure Your Sin Will Find You Out Dept

Question: can this hapless priest be rightfully said to have given his church's computer network an STD?

This rather reminds me of the classic story about the Baptist preacher who wakes up one fine Sunday morning to discover that it is just quite possible the most perfect day for golf he's likely to have all year. His conscience makes a desultory show of reluctance, but minutes later, having telephoned his assistant pastor and emulated laryngitis to the best of his ability, he is happily on his way to the links.

The angels are appalled, and they rush to tattle to God. God smiles tolerantly, "Thanks for the heads-up, boys, but I've already got everything under control."

Nothing untoward happens for the first three holes, but Number Four is a par-three island green that has always given the preacher fits. He takes a deep breath...he swings...he tops it with a veangeance...the ball screams its way low and hard straight to the water and then skitters across the water like a skipping rock...it catches a boulder at the edge of the green and bounces straight up into the air a good thirty feet...it strikes a passing bluejay square in the noggin and ricochets off straight toward the flag as the bluejay falls stunned to the ground...it rolls ever more slowly toward the cup and finally stops an inch short. And then, just as the preacher sets foot on the green for his tap-in birdie, a gust of wind nudges the ball forward to the very lip of the cup...and then it falls in. Hole-in-one.

The angels are stunned and outraged. Gabriel takes the lead. "Lord, we would never wish to question Your righteous judgments, but, Sir...is this the reward the wicked can expect?"

"Hold on a minute, there, Gabe," the Lord says with jovial satisfaction. "You're forgetting something -- who's he gonna tell?"


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