Monday, January 11, 2010

I was satisfied with merely telling Sean and Kegan that the plot of "Avatar" was just "Pocahontas In Space"...

...but Matt Bateman (warning: very non-Baptist language at the link) got a lot more empirical:

Since that's probably too small to read, I'll transcribe it:
In 1607 2154, a ship carrying Johnake Smithully arrives in the lush "new world" of North America Pandora. The settlers are mining for gold unobtanium!, under supervision of Governor Ratcliffe Colonel Quaritch. John Smith Jake Sully begins exploring the new territory, and encounters Pocahontas Neytiri. Initially she is distrustful of him, but a message from Grandmother Willow the Tree of Souls helps her overcome her trepidation. The two begin spending time together. Pocahontas Neytiri helps John Jake understand that all life is valuable, and how all nature is a connected circle of life. Furthermore she teaches him how to hunt, grow crops tame dragons, and of her culture. We find that her father is Chief Powhatan Eytucan, and that she is set to be married to Kocoum Tsu'Tey, a great warrior, but a serious man, whom Pocahontas Neytiri does not desire. Over time, John Jake and Pocahontas Neytiri find they have a love for each other. Back at the settlement, the men, who believe the natives are savages, plan to attack the natives for their gold unobtainium. Kocoum Tsu'tey tries to kill John Jake out of jealousy, but he is later killed by the settlers. As the settlers prepare to attack, John Jake is blaned by the Indians Na'vi, and is sentenced to death. Just before they kill him, the settlers arrive. Chief Powhatan Eytucan is nearly killed, and John Jake sustains injuries from Governor Ratcliffe Colonel Quaritch, who is then brought to justice shot with arrows! yo. Pocahontas Neytiri risks her life to save John Jake. John Jake and Pocahontas Neytiri finally have each other, and the two cultures resolve their differences. IMHO - Matt Bateman

I'll probably do a review of Avatar, but I'll have to do it over at the politics blog, because the fact is that Cameron took a wonderfully, astonishingly, richly imagined and incarnated world...and, being in a position to tell absolutely any story he could possibly tell in that world, from any genre, with any point, the thing he was most eager to do...was to create a pathetic far-Left revenge-fantasy in which he could with the greatest of glee kill off, on-screen, as many American Marines (carefully and explicitly and repeatedly identified as such) as his little heart desired. It's a nakedly, shamelessly, and bordering-on-mentally-ill hate-driven political piece. What a tragic waste of a genuinely breathtaking and exhilerating product of a towering and powerful imagination.

But to discuss it in detail requires the sort of post that I have banished to the political blog.


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