Criminal Mastermind of the Day Dept

Okay, my Libertarian soul is enraged to the core that it is possible for an American in what can only with immense sarcasm continue to be called "the land of the free," to be charged with the "crime" of "possession of fireworks." But Rhode Island's over-the-top nanny-statism does make it possible, technically, to qualify this dude as a "criminal mastermind." Alas, his best efforts failed to qualify him for the Darwin awards...

Key sentence: "When questioned, Stranko allegedly told police he had been smoking a cigarette inside the car when fireworks near his feet suddenly began going off."