The Punster's Dictionary: A - B

Most of these I got years ago from Bennett Cerf, in an old book I just ran across. I'm pretty proud of the "Bible" one, though, which I either made up myself or else found someplace besides in his Treasury of Atrocious Puns, can't remember which.

Alaska: a prelude to "No."

Alimony: the fee a woman charges for name-dropping.

Aloha: a Pullman berth.

Auction: a gyp off the old block.

Bible: what a cow says after an amiable encounter found to have been unsatisfactory.

Bigamist: an Italian fog.

Bulldozing: falling asleep during a campaign speech.

That'll do for now.

Oh, and here's a poem, which I swear I got from Cerf long, long ago in the bygone days of childhood (though not, apparently, from any book I still possess), and which has stuck in my mind even now when Shakespeare's sonnets have bid my memory farewell:

Mary had a swarm of bees
And they, to save their lives,
Went everywhere that Mary went,
For Mary had the hives.