"Chain E-Mail Letter" Dept

An official BP e-mail solemnly warning us against propagating chain e-mails, reminded me of how displeased I was a few years back when my wife got this one. That UPS box was pretty bloody uncomfortable, I'm here to tell you.

This chain letter was started in hopes of bringing relief to other tired and discouraged women. Unlike most chain letters, this one does not cost anything. Just send a copy of this letter to five of your friends who are equally tired and discontented. Then bundle up your husband or boyfriend and send him to the woman whose name appears at the top of the list, and add your name to the bottom of the list. When your turn comes, you will receive 5,625 men. One of them is bound to be better than the one you already have.

At the writing of this letter, a friend of mine had already received 184 men, 4 of whom were worth keeping. REMEMBER — this chain brings luck. One woman's pit bull died, and the next day she received an NFL offensive tackle. An unmarried woman living with her widowed mother was able to choose between an orthodontist and a successful gynecologist. You can be lucky too, but DO NOT BREAK THE CHAIN! One woman broke the chain, and got her own husband back again.